One morning, while working in a veterinary clinic, I felt my phone buzz in my scrub pocket. When I had a break, I saw that my sister had sent me a text. “Don’t look at my Facebook page - there is something on there that will tug at your heart.” I did what any reasonable person would do and immediately went to her page. There was the story of a cat named Beauty who was in the North Providence Animal Shelter. A 20 year old Siamese whose owner had died. She had been in the shelter for 3 weeks and they had done everything they could to help her, including paying for multiple tests to assess her condition and needs. The post was an urgent plea for help as she was not doing well. She was depressed and not eating. My sister rightly understood why this story would tug at my heart. I had had a Siamese for 19 years - my soul cat, Ananda. All rational thoughts flew out the window when I called my sister. “Bring her to me”, I ordered. Several days later, this tiny girl joined me, my teen-aged daughter, Priya and our three cats.
For some reason, this 4.9 lb cat attached herself immediately to my daughter. She slept with her every night and followed her around like a lost lamb. She was happy to be wherever Priya was; snuggled in to watch a movie, on her lap doing home work, and next to her in bed. Even car rides were no problem if she was with her Priya. It was a remarkable twist of fate that this wise being turned to the love and attention of Priya because it was not long before some challenges began with our little one and she needed someone to advocate for her, and advocate Priya surely did.
Let me back up and say that I always intended to write about this cat, who came to be called Ari (more on that in a minute). You see, I had ideas and plans about her and they were fairly simply laid out. She was a 20 year old cat with severe kidney disease requiring medical treatments along with several other health issues, including anorexia and anemia of unknown cause. The shelter was looking for someone to give this kitty love and care for her remaining time on earth. We would do just that. One month or two, it didn’t matter. We would love her until the end and make her as comfortable as possible. After she was gone, I would write a story about her short but meaningful time with us and what it meant to have her. That was eight months ago. I recently decided that Ari’s beautiful story of starting over should be written in the present - I didn’t need to wait until she was gone to complete any timely circle. Her story, as she was teaching us, was everyday. It was NOW.
A few weeks after we adopted her, I was driving home from work and I thought about Beauty. A lovely name and she certainly fit the description. Some friends said, “You can’t change her name now”, and initially I agreed. When I adopted my three older daughters from China, they knew their names and while I added new names to the mix of what they were called, to this day, we use their Chinese names. I began to feel that in adopting this elderly cat, I wanted to offer her our own thought and choice of a name. Her life with her previous mom had ended with great sadness and tragedy. I wished for her a new beginning. Later that day, I shared these thoughts with Priya who emphatically felt the same. She did what many of us do these days and scrambled to the internet for inspiring names. We quickly settled on Aria, meaning song, and this morphed into Ari in no time. Or, Ar-Ar or Arzie. She seemed to come to life with her new name. It was indeed a new family, a new home, a new beginning. However long that new beginning would last, none of us knew. I have written about what I call an “exquisite sense of timing.” Although we make plans for our beloveds, they have their own ways of inserting their wishes into those plans.
A few weeks after we adopted her, I was driving home from work and I thought about Beauty. A lovely name and she certainly fit the description. Some friends said, “You can’t change her name now”, and initially I agreed. When I adopted my three older daughters from China, they knew their names and while I added new names to the mix of what they were called, to this day, we use their Chinese names. I began to feel that in adopting this elderly cat, I wanted to offer her our own thought and choice of a name. Her life with her previous mom had ended with great sadness and tragedy. I wished for her a new beginning. Later that day, I shared these thoughts with Priya who emphatically felt the same. She did what many of us do these days and scrambled to the internet for inspiring names. We quickly settled on Aria, meaning song, and this morphed into Ari in no time. Or, Ar-Ar or Arzie. She seemed to come to life with her new name. It was indeed a new family, a new home, a new beginning. However long that new beginning would last, none of us knew. I have written about what I call an “exquisite sense of timing.” Although we make plans for our beloveds, they have their own ways of inserting their wishes into those plans.
Ari began eating more and well. In fact, she suddenly turned from a finicky eater to a ravenous one. She gained one pound, then two. We came to understand just how depressed she had been. She came out from her emotional shell and simply blossomed. Everything was new and delightful. Food, warmth, cuddles - and her cat family. She took turns getting to know each one of them and we often found her sleeping with one or the other. She began climbing the cat stairs that lead to the food perch and she would sit with the others and wait for her meals. In fact, she became demanding and she would wake us in the middle of the night and literally scream for a snack. My depleted daughter would stumble from bed and give her some food to quiet both her mouth and growling tummy. This behavior of waking us at all hours went on for a while -- far longer than I had expected her life would last! My sister visited at some point and thought it was absurd that she was waking us like this and worried (rightly so) that Priya’s sleep was being unfairly compromised. It was clear that we needed to stop and rethink the plan. Ari obviously was not leaving us anytime soon - or if she was, she was giving us no indication that her life’s end was approaching. So, we set about teaching a very old cat some new tricks. Namely, “You don’t get to scream at us for food at all hours.” Instead of putting up with her nightly tirade with gritted teeth and hands over our ears, we simply picked her up and put her in the kitchen - usually with her sister, Annie by the radiator -- and shut our bedroom doors. There she sat quietly waiting for morning to come so she could finally have her breakfast.
Quite early on, Ari had some urinary issues and we have struggled on and off with this. During a particularly bad time, she did not seem able to hold her urine well at all. She was peeing in odd places - even on Priya and in the middle of the night! She wore the tiniest diapers which were an absurdly high expense. On one especially tense night, when I was ripping sheets off Priya’s bed at 2 am and feeling the weight and burn of exhaustion, I blurted, “I think we made a mistake adopting her. I can’t live with a pee-soaked house. We need to think about what to do with her.” For some reason, I had expected Priya to join me in thinking about an alternate plan for Ari. Instead, she looked at me incredulously. “Mom”, she said. “I can’t even believe I am hearing you say this. She is 20 years old, Mom. We need to give her time.” This wise daughter of mine, who had herself been left on the steps of a building in rural China with an uncertain future, brought me straight back to center. I flashed back to the adoptions of her and her sisters. There were challenges but wavering on my commitment was never in the picture. I told Priya that she was right. We would give Ari time. What a lesson! In stepping back from uncertainty and fear and allowing Ari to be where she was, most of the worries abated and she became healthier and more integrated into our home.
As far as we are concerned, she is a wonder cat. She is a funny, adorable and wise teacher - still demanding. She recently weighed in at 7.3 lbs. She gets six different medications daily and subcutaneous fluids under the skin every few days. She is blissfully content and for a girl at such an advanced age, she seems to effuse gratitude. Sometimes I think I can almost hear her telling us how happy she is at the chance to have a new family. We love her dearly and can’t imagine her not here. She has given us the gift of being present and allowing the miracles to unfold.
Special thanks go to the North Providence Animal Shelter for advocating for Ari (Beauty) so well; to my sister Barbi and Elissa Alford who transported her home; to my wonderful daughter for her endless support and care; and to Ari's first mom, who cared for her for nearly 20 years until she couldn't anymore. We are carrying on her love for her Beauty.
Special thanks go to the North Providence Animal Shelter for advocating for Ari (Beauty) so well; to my sister Barbi and Elissa Alford who transported her home; to my wonderful daughter for her endless support and care; and to Ari's first mom, who cared for her for nearly 20 years until she couldn't anymore. We are carrying on her love for her Beauty.