Whenever we embark on a new dream to make a vision happen, almost always, we have inspiration backing us. In my case, I was bolstered along the way by a few animals and their people. I learned to trust myself enough to finally make the brave decision to leave my secure job in a veterinary hospital and begin Road Home Animal Care in earnest. One of the magnificent creatures who taught me so much was Sam, a 16 year old orange Tabby living in the town of Albany, California. Sam’s
family brought him to the hospital where I worked and in the spring of 2012, Sam was diagnosed with a slow-growing tumor in his liver. His family was initially upset but they received great support on how best to manage Sam’s symptoms and they jumped to action and immediately hired people to provide the necessary medical treatments to Sam in his own home. I became, along with another wonderful woman, Sharon Melnyk, one of Sam’s home nurses. The routine of giving Sam subcutaneous fluids and other medications soon became a smooth operation and for a long time, Sam did beautifully with the additional supportive care. I even stayed with Sam during the summer of 2012 for two weeks while his family vacationed. I got to know Sam very well during that time and became very bonded to him. In October of 2012, things were continuing to go smoothly. One day I went over to see Sam and give him his treatments. One of his moms, Katelin, told me she had some big news for me. She looked a little sad or worried and I thought perhaps that she was going to tell me they were thinking of making some different decisions for Sam. Instead she told me that she had been offered an important job in Western Massachusetts and had accepted it. She was clearly worried and stressed about what this might mean for Sammy. I counseled her to go slowly in planning for him and to not worry before we needed to. We would know more in the next month or two and would make the right decisions for Sam. Finally Katelin took Sam in to see the doctor to assess his health and ask about the impending big move. Sadly, the doctor felt it would not be in Sam’s best interest to make this kind of a move and that the transition would probably be too stressful for him. There was much devastation and sadness in Sam’s house as they grappled with the thought of losing him, and soon since their move was approaching rapidly.
family brought him to the hospital where I worked and in the spring of 2012, Sam was diagnosed with a slow-growing tumor in his liver. His family was initially upset but they received great support on how best to manage Sam’s symptoms and they jumped to action and immediately hired people to provide the necessary medical treatments to Sam in his own home. I became, along with another wonderful woman, Sharon Melnyk, one of Sam’s home nurses. The routine of giving Sam subcutaneous fluids and other medications soon became a smooth operation and for a long time, Sam did beautifully with the additional supportive care. I even stayed with Sam during the summer of 2012 for two weeks while his family vacationed. I got to know Sam very well during that time and became very bonded to him. In October of 2012, things were continuing to go smoothly. One day I went over to see Sam and give him his treatments. One of his moms, Katelin, told me she had some big news for me. She looked a little sad or worried and I thought perhaps that she was going to tell me they were thinking of making some different decisions for Sam. Instead she told me that she had been offered an important job in Western Massachusetts and had accepted it. She was clearly worried and stressed about what this might mean for Sammy. I counseled her to go slowly in planning for him and to not worry before we needed to. We would know more in the next month or two and would make the right decisions for Sam. Finally Katelin took Sam in to see the doctor to assess his health and ask about the impending big move. Sadly, the doctor felt it would not be in Sam’s best interest to make this kind of a move and that the transition would probably be too stressful for him. There was much devastation and sadness in Sam’s house as they grappled with the thought of losing him, and soon since their move was approaching rapidly.
I make it a point never to tell people what I think they should do with their animals around their journeys with death and dying. It is simply too personal. If people want to know what I see or observe I can find gentle ways to do this without overwhelming. However, I knew that everyone was torn about letting Sam go before he was ready. I gently told Katelin and her partner, Sarah that if they wanted to know what I had observed in caring for Sam, I would be happy to come talk with them. I did this one rainy night in November. We sat together and cried and I told them that I was not convinced that Sam couldn’t withstand the trip to MA but regardless of that, I did not think he was immediately ready to go and they were running out of time before their house and lives would be packed up by movers. I told them that I deeply respected the doctors who had cared for Sam and that they had and continued to offer wonderful palliative options for him. But I also felt like it made just as much sense to listen to Sam. We were with him everyday. What did we see? What did we think? We all agreed that the days during the actual moving would be too much for Sam. So, I made them an offer. I said I would take Sammy for a month while they moved and got settled. At the end of that month, if Sam’s condition was worsening rapidly, I would be his surrogate mom and make the decisions necessary for his comfort which might also mean putting an end to his suffering through euthanasia. I told them I was more than willing to do this for Sam, as during the many months of caring for him, I had grown to love him deeply. It wasn’t long before I went over and collected Sam on a sad day at the end of November and brought him home to live with me. There were many tears as we knew this might be the last time Sam and his family were together. People worried about Sammy then. How would he adjust to such huge change? We anthropomorphized and assigned human emotions to his experience. Would he feel abandoned by his family? But Sammy settled into life with me in my home without skipping a beat. I kept him in one large room and we affectionately called it “Sam’s Palace.” He had everything he needed and more. He slept with me every night. He accepted our love and affection, and Sharon continued coming everyday to give him his treatments while I worked during the day.
Since Sam did so well, we collectively, along with his veterinarian, made the decision for me to fly him to MA. Finally the day came and then it was my turn to be nervous! But true to his spirit, Sammy settled into his carrier and off we went, only to arrive safely in MA in the afternoon and greeted by a tearful Katelin. So Sam made it home. He adjusted right away to his new environs and seemed content to be with his moms and little brothers again. He slept with them immediately. Sammy lived for a happy 5 months before his condition worsened to the point of making the decision to let him go.
I would need several more pages to get into detail about all of the things I learned in caring for Sam. But the highlights are as follows:
• Never stop listening to your animals
• Trust in your own direction and intuition
• Give yourself time to assess and reassess as needed
• Go slowly; things can change for the worst or the better
• Offer yourself and those around you extreme kindness
When Sam got home, we were all euphoric. Katelin and Sarah gave me a beautiful gift; a thin, silver bracelet that says, “Everything is possible.” That’s also what I learned from Sammy. He will live in me forever and that message is mine that I will continue paying forward again and again with every animal and family I work with. The love we all felt for Sam was worth every check written, every tear shed, every worrisome thought uttered.
Thank you, Sam.
• Never stop listening to your animals
• Trust in your own direction and intuition
• Give yourself time to assess and reassess as needed
• Go slowly; things can change for the worst or the better
• Offer yourself and those around you extreme kindness
When Sam got home, we were all euphoric. Katelin and Sarah gave me a beautiful gift; a thin, silver bracelet that says, “Everything is possible.” That’s also what I learned from Sammy. He will live in me forever and that message is mine that I will continue paying forward again and again with every animal and family I work with. The love we all felt for Sam was worth every check written, every tear shed, every worrisome thought uttered.
Thank you, Sam.
Epilogue: In late July, I also moved to the Pioneer Valley in Western Massachusetts, less than two months after Sam died there. Having Sam’s family near to me is a great gift and comfort.
Heartfelt thanks go to both Codornices Veterinary Clinic, in Albany, CA and also to Northampton Veterinary Clinic in Northampton, MA for their unfailing support.
Heartfelt thanks go to both Codornices Veterinary Clinic, in Albany, CA and also to Northampton Veterinary Clinic in Northampton, MA for their unfailing support.